All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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