we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
