Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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