First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
