The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
