I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
