i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
