I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
