do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
