You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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