Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
