UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
