Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
