We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
