Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
