maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
