Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
