think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
