Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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