nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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