Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
