i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
