dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you mean i was at the winter classic?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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