She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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