cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
