suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Holy sore nipples Batman
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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