We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
