I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
