his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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