I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
