What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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