Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
