i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
