How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
