He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
