guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
