good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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