i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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