Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
