I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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