When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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