In the future we'll all be gay
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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