he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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