Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
