cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
