But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
