This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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