In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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