We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
