I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
