I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
